...just hangin' out...

I've yet to send out the registration for me and Camry and Keisha for Sugoicon. I'll do that next weekend. In other news. College is driving me crazy. I'm beginning to dislike people for weird reasons. Anyway, I only need two more transformer figures to finish the movie collection (figures of each character). Leader Class Optimus Prime and deluxe Bumblebee 09. These people are making me angry for no real reason. Le sigh. I need to beat a bunch of video games this winter break. Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Final Fantasy III, X, XII, Pokemon Pearl, and I think that's it. I need to watch more movies, finish my anime series. GOD. Play more WoW. I dunno. It seems like I don't have enough time to do what I want to. I hate College so much. I'm stoked for Sweeney Todd, I have the 2005 cast recording, and it rocks. Although, I think, from what I've seen in the trailer, I like Johnny's rendition. Who knows how it'll turn out. It has a lot of people in it that I've never thought about singing except Helena Bonham Carter, but yeah. We'll see.

Everything else in my life is fine. I just can't stand being here. I miss Camry. I love that girl a lot. Quite possibly more than any human being. Wait, yeah, I do...given everyone else disappoints me. Screw you peoples. I want to finish some of my anime- Lucky Star, Darker than Black, Romeo X Juliet, Lovely Complex....that's pretty much it.

I also need to finish GARO. I'm so behind @_@. I think this week I may finish up my tv series. Who knows? I'm also going to start walking an hour every night. Life has changed so drastically. "Fly Me To The Moon" is weird. I'm listened to Utada Hikaru's cover of it for the new Evangelion Movie...and it reminds me of Evangelion. That reminds me of a more depressing point in my life. Evangelion was such a great series. I'll probably rewatch it this christmas. I got Camry started into it, so I think I'll watch it with her over the course of winter break. College finds a way to depress me. It's unusual. Tomorrow we review for the mid-term test in speech, and writing will be easy, and MSU 101 is always easy.

God. I feel so weird. I feel like initially I had all these great ideas, but now I'm just keeping a low profile and struggling through life. At the end of this, I'm not going to leave any real mark on the world. I feel so...ordinary. I hate this feeling. I feel as though nothing really matters. I need Camry. She'd understand this, but even then it wouldn't matter, because she'd be around. The ultimate distraction. That girl. hmm. I enjoy her company. I feel like I've lost something. I don't know what it is yet. I just feel the absence. Parts of me move without my meaning them to. My hand has started twitching. Initially it was my eyelids, then my neck, and now parts of my arms/hands. I wonder why this is happening.

I think I relate to fictional characters too much. I think I do it because I find them more interesting than the people I already know. Maybe. Who knows. I keep getting this horrible pain around my stomach. I thought it was because I needed food, but I was wrong. Well. I weighed 165.8 pounds this morning. In January of 07' I weighed around 108.9 pounds. Wee. I think I won't eat at all this week. Walk an hour every night this week. I may get an ideal weight. I hate college. Sorry to mention this every paragraph or so, but it just happens. I think I may go to bed. I've gone and depressed myself, but it's coo dawg. I lose weight when I get depressed. I get so disgusted with my self, it's rather easy. Perhaps one day I'll be worthy of the oxygen I breathe. Maybe.

I sometimes wish the world wasn't so boring. I wish we lived in a world in which adventures of the fantasy/science fiction persuasion could happen on a daily basis. I think that may be the reason I've been such a morose person. I guess it's because
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I've always been disappointed with this reality
Alex Gayhart